oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
