Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
