We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
