hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
