went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
People in love make me want to vomit
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
