I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
