he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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