so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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