We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
