Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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