My nipple is on Facebook.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
