Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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