Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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