Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm at about main and main street
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
