I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
