One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
