i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
do nipples grow back?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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