if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
