He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
