Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
