so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
