My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
