Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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