Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
