i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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