You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
