Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
