he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
