so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
