Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
