....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
