I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
