y did u give ur computer a hand job?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
