Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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