i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
