THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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