Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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