I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
