we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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