god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
