yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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