You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
