Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
