if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Randomize
