Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
