she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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