I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize