oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
