hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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