worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
